Wednesday Wellness - Expectations Bring Disappointment: Learning to Let Go

We’ve all been there—expecting someone to show up for us the way we would for them, expecting life to reward our hard work, or expecting things to go exactly as planned. And when they don’t? Ouch. It stings. Disappointment settles in, making us question everything.

Why Do Expectations Hurt So Much?

The truth is, expectations are a setup. We build up a mental image of how things should be, but life rarely follows our script. People have their own perspectives, priorities shift, and the universe doesn’t always operate on fairness.

Think about it—have you ever expected a friend to check in on you when you were feeling down, only to realize they had no idea you needed support? Or worked hard for something, believing effort alone guarantees success, but still fell short? The letdown doesn’t come from reality being unfair; it comes from the gap between what we thought would happen and what actually did.

The Cycle of Expectation and Disappointment

When we expect too much, we often set ourselves up for unnecessary heartache. Some common patterns include:

Unspoken Expectations: Assuming people will just “get it” without actually communicating what we need.

Overvaluing Effort: Believing that if we put in 100%, the outcome will match our input (spoiler: it doesn’t always work that way).

Seeking Perfection: Expecting ourselves or others to be flawless, which only leads to endless frustration.

How to Let Go Without Giving Up

Letting go of expectations doesn’t mean lowering your standards or becoming indifferent—it just means making peace with the fact that things won’t always go your way. Here’s how:

1. Accept People as They Are: Not as we wish they would be.

2. Communicate Clearly: Instead of assuming, say what you need.

3. Embrace the Unknown: Life is unpredictable, and that’s not always a bad thing.

4. Find Joy in the Journey: Focus on what you can control—your actions, mindset, and growth.

5. Be Present: Stop replaying what should have happened and focus on what is happening.

Living with Fewer Expectations, More Freedom

When we loosen our grip on rigid expectations, we make room for genuine connection, self-acceptance, and unexpected joy. Instead of being let down by what didn’t happen, we start appreciating what did—even if it wasn’t what we originally had in mind.

So next time you feel that familiar disappointment creeping in, ask yourself: Was I hurt by reality, or just by my version of how reality should be? The answer might just set you free or you can choose Soulamore as our experienced peers are there to guide you.

What are you grateful for today? Share your thoughts in the comments below.